Santa is visiting my daughter’s school soon.
She told me about it yesterday on the way home. “That’ll be
fun,” I said, cringing inwardly.
Fake Santas aren’t my favorite.
I honestly don’t understand why we dress our children up in
cute little Christmas clothes and take them to stand in a long line and then
pay anywhere from $10 to $25 to terrify them by putting them on a stranger’s
lap! It boggles my mind!
But back to my daughter…
“I don’t want to sit in his lap,” she said after a bit of
hesitation.
“Okay,” I responded, resisting the urge to applaud. “Can I
ask why?”
“I just don’t want to.”
“That’s fine,” I told her. “You don’t ever have to do
something you don’t want to do.”
After she five minutes of “did you text my teacher” and “did
you talk to my teacher,” I finally assured her that her teacher was aware that
she did not want to sit in Santa’s lap.
And I thought that was the end of the discussion. But later
that night, when we talked about picking out clothes, she suddenly, rather
mysteriously, started not feeling well.
“What hurts?”
“Everything.”
“You don’t have a fever.”
“Are you sure? I think I feel hot.”
“Are you sure you just don’t want to go to school?”
“Don’t talk about school.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to sit in Santa’s lap.”
Now, I will take some credit for this.
I have never once indicated to my child that I think Santa
is creepy or sitting in some stranger’s lap at the mall is creepy or even the
concept that some stranger watches you all year long and then leaves you presents
if you’re good is a little creepy.
But she is my child, so she has my genes. And I cannot
recall one time that my parents forced me to sit in Santa’s lap. If I wanted
to, fine… but I can promise you: I didn’t want to.
And if the evidence floating around on the Internet is any
indication of how most children feel being thrust into the arms of a man with a
(sometimes) fake, scratchy beard, then most children side with me.
 |
| Google search results = some smiling, most terrified |
It’s creepy, Moms and Dads.
Cringe along with me as you check out this collection,
published by Stuff You Should Know (SYSK).
These kids are terrified!
So maybe I am to blame for this fear of Santa Claus’s lap.
My little one is excited for Santa. She knows who he is. She writes him letters and
leaves him cookies. She even thanks him for the gifts she receives.
But that doesn’t make sitting in his lap any less creepy or
uncomfortable.
And years from now, I’d rather have a picture of her
smiling, sans Santa, than a picture of her in tears on the knee of a stranger.
So we’ve developed a plan. She wants to tell him her
Christmas wish list. And she wants to get the candy cane he gives them after
their chat. She even is okay with a picture… as long as she’s standing near him
and he’s not touching her.
But she won’t sit in his lap.
And I am 100 percent completely okay with that!
