I wouldn’t consider myself a highly religious person. A
spiritual one, yes. But religious, no.
I know many believe there to be a great difference between
the two, but I don’t agree. I think the foundations of religion begin in
spirituality, which is about the quest for justice and compassion and one’s
desire to live a godly life.
Do I live faultlessly? No, but few do.
Do I recognize when I am at fault and work to be better,
truer, more virtuous? Yes. And I believe
many do this, too, regardless of their claim to religion, spirituality, or
neither.
But one indiscretion that seems increasingly, alarmingly so,
prevalent today is the tendency to pass judgment. I’m not proud to say I am
guilty of judging others, but I’d be lying if I tried to claim I had never done
it.
I’ve found myself questioning something as superficial as
the clothing choices of another shopper at the mall or what seem to me
inconsequential rants on social media.
But when I do, I try to understand why I have such a
reaction: is it perhaps jealousy or regret that drives my observations? After
all, I am only human.
I believe being a writer gives me a unique perspective when
it comes to understanding people. The more I work to present characters with
depth and flaws, wit and lovability, the more I learn to really think about the
motivation for the decisions people make.
How can I have a character do something shockingly
outlandish or boringly predictable or heart-wrenchingly sacrificial without
understanding the many facets of character and personality that influenced his
or her choices?
Long time comedian and actor Robin Williams’ death has
profoundly affected people across America: some are grieving, some are
remembering, and some are criticizing. And to each his own; this is an individual’s
right, and it is not my place to judge.
But… isn’t that the point? It isn’t any of our places to
judge.
The Christian bible overflows with reminders that man has no
duty, right, or responsibility to pass judgment on his fellow man.
From John 8:7, “And as they continued to ask him, he stood
up and said to them, ‘Let him who is without sin among you be the first to
throw a stone at her.’”
In Luke 6:37, “Judge not, and you will not be judged;
condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
From Romans 2:1-3, “For in passing judgment on another you
condemn yourself.”
And perhaps the most powerful of my chosen examples, from
Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such
as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to
those who hear.”
Williams’ death and the outpour of both positive and
negative reaction may have motivated this post, but it was long overdue, for it
seems that living in a world of reality television, social media, and
insta-everything continues to reduce man’s ability to be compassionate toward
others.
With our ability to update the world on the goings-on of our
lives every minute of every day, we continue to lose the very essence of what
makes us different from other species—our humanity.
Instead, we scroll through newsfeeds, pointing at duck-faced
selfies and laughing; wondering why we accepted that friend request from
someone we went to school with in high school who wasn’t really a friend, even
then; and living in a world of superficial interaction, allowing it to be
substituted for time with friends and loved ones.
Of course, every person is entitled to his or her opinion.
Original ideas are what make me different from you and you different from
another. But an opinion is often a double-edged sword.
And it is almost too easy to pass one’s judgment off as mere
opinion.
Instead of judging and chalking it up to “opinion,” maybe we
should make a conscious effort to build one another up, to encourage and
praise, and to show compassion.
A woman breastfeeding a newborn in public, her breast
completely exposed, may be doing so deliberately to challenge the stigma
associated with the female breast. She’s seen magazine covers in the grocery
store revealing more than she is, anyway. She dares someone to say something to
her. Then, again, though, she may be exhausted and relieved that the child is
quiet and nursing, oblivious that she is revealing as much as she is. She’s
left her nursing cover at home and the idea of nursing standing up in a dirty
bathroom is too much for her right now.
A young, well-dressed woman with two well-dressed children
at her heels and a Coach bag on her arm using her Lone Star card for groceries
may have figured out how to cheat the system, but she may also buy their
clothing second-hand and have received the purse as a gift, neither of which
affects how she feeds those dependent mouths.
And a beloved comedian, who has given the world the gift of
laughter for decades but has always been open about his struggles with depression and
addiction, takes his own life. Is he damned for all eternity for this sin he
committed, or is he freed of the bonds that led to such indescribable pain that he saw no other way out?
No matter what belief system one adheres to, snide, judgmental comments only
hurt; they cannot help. They hurt the woman who is trying to do best by her
child; the single mother struggling to make ends meet; and the family of the
man left to mourn his passing. They will suffer long after our careless
comments have been made, our thoughtless judgment passed.
And who are we to hurt others like this? Who are we to care
so much about sharing our opinion of others that we forget how badly words do
hurt? Or how once words are said, they can be forgiven but rarely forgotten.
If we are more willing to consider—to just imagine—the
details of lives we likely know nothing about, we might be less inclined to
jump to conclusions or pass unfair or unfounded judgment.
As John Lennon once sang, “Imagine all the people living
life in peace…”
